It’s pretty much the dead of winter right now. We’re in mid-January. We’ve got at least two months of cold, dark, dry weather ahead of us. This type of weather always demotivates me. I can feel my enthusiasm for life sinking towards the lower end of my “joy spectrum”. It’s too cold to go outside, it’s often more cloudy than sunny, it’s lifeless outside. All of the trees are bare, the animals have gone away, there are no bugs or flowers. I guess this is why it’s the “dead” of winter. And as bleak as it seems, I have noticed one thing lately that I’m truly grateful for: when it hits 5 pm, the sun is still out. We’re past the point of darkness before 5 pm.
It doesn’t sound like much, but those extra few moments of sunlight during the evening really make a difference. They mean so much more than just a bit more brightness. They’re hope; they’re a reminder that we can make it through the darkness; that time is moving forward; that we’re all moving forward. This sounds a little cheesy, but I am so very grateful that we’re inching closer to warm weather every day.
I spent most of my summer of 2018 unemployed. I couldn’t find a job until September, so for those three months I was really throwing myself into nature. I took walks, hiked around the woods, went swimming in the pool, went to the beach, and boy oh boy do I miss it. I miss the vitamin D shining down on my face, the warm, humid breeze, I miss wearing shorts and a T-shirt. I miss sweating! I miss iced coffee and the smell of sunblock. I know it’s right around the corner. I just have to be a little bit more patient.
Sometimes I dream about moving away from the East Coast for a warmer climate. Sometimes I see myself living in LA or Hawaii. Sometimes I want to run away to Australia or like, Singapore. I can’t even begin to imagine how much my quality of life could improve if I lived in a year-round warm environment. I think I would miss my family too much if I moved that far away… but there aren’t any East Coast cities I could see myself moving to. The warmest I can think of is Miami, and I don’t think I want to live there. I guess I just have to deal with it for now.
Maybe someday I’ll decide to pack up and leave the New York area. I lived in NYC for seven years. I’m still planning on moving back to my own place at some point in 2019. I crave that independence. And it’ll be warm soon enough. Maybe I’ll move somewhere different in five years or ten years. Or maybe I’ll learn to fall back in love with New York. I can’t plan anything for my future for now, outside of what clothes I’ll need to wear.
Maybe it’s time for another solo vacation…?