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“I didn’t want to be around it.  I didn’t want to hear the…

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“I didn’t want to be around it.  I didn’t want to hear the yelling, or the fighting.  So I ran away from the badness.  I spent my childhood at the houses of friends.  I surrounded myself with people.  And I became a social butterfly.  Even when I moved to London ten years ago, I still kept my old friends around me.  There were always so many people coming and going.  But then we all turned thirty, and suddenly everyone was going, and not coming back again.  Things began to fall apart for me.  I lost my support network.  I lost my job.  I found myself in an abusive relationship, just like my mother had been.  I was so angry at myself for going through the same cycle.  But I allowed it to happen, because he was the only thing keeping me from being completely alone.  But one day I did it.  I finally left him.  For a moment I had no friends, no job, no place to live, and no relationship.  I wanted to run back home.  But I stayed in London.  I stayed just to teach myself that I could be ok.  I rented a room in a house full of strangers.  I began doing things on my own.  I went to a music festival by myself, and ended up meeting the best friends of my life.  I stayed single for three good years.  I taught myself what I want and what I deserve.  Now I’ve got a great boyfriend who’s not insecure, who’s not jealous, who’s not controlling, who lets me be myself.  And I’ve learned that I’m independent.  Growing up I always thought of myself as independent.  But it was just a thought.  I never knew.  But now I know.”
(London, England)



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